Mother = Eco liability

My Eco Self has a mother who is an Eco liability.
"I just got a new desk from your brother," she tells me when I phone.
“What happened to the old one?”
“It’s gone up into the sky.”
I’m aghast. “What do you mean - did you burn MDF?”
She can’t be reasoned with.
“I’m not sentimental,” she states, as justification for her regular bonfires.
“You could have advertised it in Freecycle.”
“I don’t want strangers coming to my house,” she insists, “they could be sizing up the joint, thinking there’s a wealthy woman with lots to steal from.”
My Eco Self tries to point out to a slightly delusioned mother that an MDF computer desk from MFI does not exactly spell out the promise of untold riches.