Thursday, 22 May 2008


“How often do you buy honey?” I ask Food Neurotic Friend. “Did you know that bumblebees could be extinct within ten years?”
Food Neurotic Friend opens his well-stocked fridge to proudly reveal a jar of sycamore-scented honey produced at a foodie friend’s farm.
“Then how about planting some honeysuckle and lavender in your garden to attract them?”
“My whole garden’s planted with vegetables – would you rather see bees when you come round or have a local, seasonally produced salad?”
“Well, maybe you need to start using honey-based moisturisers as well, to increase the business demand and encourage people to keep bees,” I tell him.
“Em, are you saying my middle-aged skin isn’t baby soft already?” says FNF.
“I’ve not been close enough to find out,” I say, from a safe distance across the room, “but I’m just saying you could switch the products in your daily maintenance routine.”
“I think fundamental change starts with the individual,” says FNF, switching conveniently to self-help mode. “I’ve been sent a press release about a bee-keeping holiday – do you want to go? I think you’d suit one of those bee-keeping helmets, it’d keep you quiet for a while.”
“Well, unfortunately I’ll have to turn down your kind offer this time,” I say, “I’m allergic to bees. But I’ll eat some of that sycamore honey while I’m here and recommend it to my friends – that can be my PR exercise for the day.”

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